Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
