we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
