Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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