Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
