I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
