No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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