i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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