Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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