playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize