My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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