Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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