I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
