I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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