tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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