I wannas sexs uuuuu
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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