Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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