Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
