I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
