i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
