Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
