just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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