EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
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I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
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I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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