We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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