I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize