I'm lost and stupid without you.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
