i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
