dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
