you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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