I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
BRING THE BAGELS
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
