He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i came on her dog
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
