Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
