I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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