if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
