So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You ate ashes out of my bong
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
