There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
