Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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