I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
