Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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