You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
