Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
