just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
