I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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