You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
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In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
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She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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