More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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