you traded sex for a burrito?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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