I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize