I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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