Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
