There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
