Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize