Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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