thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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