Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
