I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
