i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize