when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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