she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
